I picked up one of these a while back in hopes it could keep my hardwoods clean and save us a little work around the house. It works great sucking up dog hair, dust and popcorn kernels after a night of heavy drinking. But don't sleep in too long after your big night and forget  to let your "house-trained" dogs out for their daily constitutional - it will be painful. Set aside at least a couple of hours to clean the rugs and baseboards that are covered in shit, and a couple hours more to disassemble this piece of FOD to clean out the fecal matter in the wheels, brushes and underbody of the unit. Over all - FAIL x 10!!!

Much easier to clean up a steaming pile of dog crap with paper towels...

Minhee Cho has a pretty cool name as it is, but a server from a Papa John's pizza joint in New York City gave her a callsign of his own, as evidenced in the following sales receipt. PJ has taken to Facebook to issue a public apology to the woman, as this image captioned " 'Hey @PapaJohns just FYI my name isn't 'lady chinky eyes'' goes viral on Twitter:

I featured the "Fail Toy Guy" from youtube a while back demonstrating a Tarzan action figure (Tarzan goes Viral) that gives your kid a little more action than he probably needs. Here's another gem of a toy - the Wolverine blowup hammer!

Details.com has published an exclusive interview with "Markus", the Shady Lady Ranch's first legal male hooker thanks to Nevada's recent approval of male prostitution. Markus is a 25 yr.old ex- Marine who was  booted out of the Corps after two years on an 'other than honorable' for unspecified offences. Markus considers himself a pathfinder of civil rights in the mold of a Rosa Parks, and prefers to be called a 'gigolo' rather than a prostitute. "This isn't about selling my body. This is about changing social norms." Deep!

The Doofergods think Markus offers a poor alternative to  Nax , for those women who, ah, well...

Full Story over at Details.com

Steve Burton, a bank clerk in Palm Springs, CA, recently attended his 20th high school reunion. Wanting to make a splash, he came costumed as  a highly decorated US Marine LT Colonel, adorned with the Navy Cross, a Bronze Star, Legion of Merit, a Purple Heart, and dozens of other lesser awards. He chronicled his martial exploits on his own blog page, and shared the many heroic 'battles' he fought in Iraq and Afghanistan. (On his blog, he also appears as a Master Gunnery Sergent, below). Unfortunately for Steve, a classmate of his who also attended the reunion was a real-life Navy Commander. Sensing this guy was more full of shit than a table of six the day after a meal at PF Chang's, Cmdr. Colleen Salonga posed for a photo with him and quickly alerted the FBI.
Steve earns a Dooferbook trifecta tag for his blatant buffonery, supreme idiocy,  and indefensible douchery - plus a Fail tag to boot!

Just in case 'bromances' and 'manscaping' haven't yet induced a painful bout of acid reflux and sent your innards hurtling up your throat, take a look at "Nax". Nax is the latest in 'synthetic humanoid' love doll technology, created for discriminating females who are sick of the old in-out with a real live man. Created with a decidely metro, euro-fag look - shaved body hair, well-groomed eyebrows, and a ponytail - German manufacturer First Androids claims Nax is a "giant of a man with athletic appeal" and sports an "automatically soaring penis." Nax is fully animatronic and sells for about $11,000. Nax also completes my 'metrosexual trifecta' rant. As you were...

Poor Lockheed-Martin. After getting whacked with the cancellation of the F-22 program, they had high hopes of winning the contract for the new Joint Light Tactical Vehicle (JLTV) to replace the Army and Marine Corps' aging hummers - a potential contract worth up to $75B. The 24,000lb. test vehicle was totaled when a reporter rolled it during a press demonstration:

The makers of everyone's favorite stocking stuffer has come out with a "special edition" Chia pet honoring our 44th President. The Obama Chia allows you to "celebrate the change right in your own house" and offers a selection of poses - the "Determined Chia Obama" and the "Happy Chia Obama". Joseph Enterprises recently turned to direct marketing for these bad boys after Walgreens pulled them from their shelves and refused to sell them - leaving 200,000 of them homeless.  Like all direct-marketing products, they can be had for only  $19.99. Billy Mays is rolling over in his grave...

And  check out this shyster who's selling a Mr. T 'collectable' chia pet for only $75. Or this guy who's selling a Sarah Palin autographed XBox 360 for a cool $1,000,000. Gotta love eBay.

Twenty four hours after launch, Apollo 11 was hurtling along nicely toward the moon at a cool 24,545 mph, or roughly Mach 409 give or take a few Ernsts. That's a little slower than the 24,791 mph its predecessor Apollo 10 hit on its way back from the moon - still a record for a manned vehicle according to Guinness. But while all eyes focused on Apollo, there was a little publicized wildcard entry into the space race - Russia's Luna 15.

Resembling something created in a "Junkyard Wars" episode, the USSR launched the unmanned Luna 15 three days before Apollo 11 in hopes of upstaging the US. They planned on landing the probe on the lunar surface, collecting soil samples, and racing back to Earth before Apollo splashdown. The crew  of Apollo 11 was briefed daily on the progress of Luna 15, and it was being closely followed by NASA and tracking stations in the UK. It entered lunar orbit on July 17, 1969, and was still in orbit three days later as Armstrong took his first steps. While the astronauts prepared to leave the moon on July 21st, Luna 15 finally began its descent and attempted to land -- only to end up as a smoking hole on the lunar surface.

Below is a fake video of Luna 15 orbiting above the Eagle lander and then crashing. I include it only to demonstrate the idiocy of the film makers. Since when do parachutes inflate without an atmosphere?