Three years ago we predicted that manned Close Air Support (CAS) would be a thing of the past  by the year 2020 (Latest stats on USAF Drones). USAF HQ just hastened our prediction today, announcing they will mothball six tactical fighter squadrons, including four squadrons of the venerable (and awesome) A-10 attack aircraft as part of Obama's plan to gut our nation's military.

Units on the chopping block are the 107th Fighter Squadron at Selfridge ANG Base, MI.; the 163rd FS at Fort WayneANG Station, IN.; and the 184th FS at Ebbing ANG Base,AR. Throw in Iowa's 124th Fighter Squadron (F-16) and two other un-named active duty units flying A-10 and F-15's. That's 10% of our fighter force -- Gone in 60 Seconds.

Not to worry though. Jackwad Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Norton Schwartz says the pilots in the axed squadrons would transfer to other units, including those that fly unmanned aircraft like MQ-9 Reapers and MQ-1 Predators.

“What we are doing is re-missioning the units,” Schwartz told reporters at the Pentagon Jan. 27. “In other words, for example, a unit that was operating manned aircraft might transition to a remotely piloted aircraft mission. And so, their fundamental skills will still be employed but in a different way.”

Yeah, right.

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The last couple of decades has given us lots of new technology, from the internet to iPhone porn to Jersey Shore re-runs on Demand TV. But one of the neatest things developed in the last few years has been the GoPro HD cameras, which are used on practically every reality TV show and documentary these days. These miniature wonders can be mounted on everything from a helmet to a ski, and shoot video in a quality unheard of just a few years ago. And let's face it, if you're gonna do something awesome, what good is it if you can't show it off to your friends or the entire world on YouTube?

One of the coolest uses of these little gems has been in skydiving --  in particular skydiving in one of those little squirrel suits and documenting suicidal hops off majestic mountain peaks. Daedalus would be jealous - the concept of personal flight is now available to the masses -  if you have the stones for it. And sadly, at my advanced age - and as tough as it is to admit this - I don't.  I hand it to the X-Games generation though for inventing this kind of stuff. As awesome as flying fighters is, if you're really into flying, this sport would be the cats' meow!

But think of the possibilities if they figure out a way to strap an Aim-9 or a GAU-8 onto those suits...

No, this isn't a Photoshop'd image of a giant phallus, it's just the latest salvo in the USAF's war against piloted aircraft (Welcome to Outsourcing, Gentlemen!). Argus One, a dirigible-looking thing created by the World Surveillance Group (WSG), is currently undergoing tests at an "undisclosed base" - - can you say Groom Lake, aka 'Area 51'?  Argus One can hover over a target area at 10-20,000' and provide real-time recon datalinked to some MWFIC who undoubtedly will give the order to launch some other drone to take out the target.

We've been talking about the de-manlyfication of the USAF for quite some time (The Future is Officially here...), but this is some really cheap-ass shit!!!

Bring back the Lockheed Skunk Works, I say!

Spike Lee obviously knows some powerful people in high positions - namely, the marketing department at Nike, who sent the actor/producer a pair their new Air Jordan Bordeauxs to present to our beloved CINC. The as yet unreleased retro-style Jordans will sell for a whopping $175, and are sure to set off another round of riots once they hit the stores in the hood.

Brilliant move on Nike's part though, considering what a role model we've been told he is ad infinitum!

Socially Unacceptable Humor

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening".

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So. I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct answer.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled" To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard."

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.