The Perfect Day

Oldie, but still a goodie...

The Perfect Day for a woman:
08:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
08:30 Weigh in 5 lbs lighter than yesterday
08:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants
09:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
10:00 Light work-out at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and blow dry
12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
12:45 Notice boyfriends ex-wife, she has gained 30lbs
13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
15:00 Nap
16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
16:15 Gentle game of Tennis, followed by a soothing massage
17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before the mirror
19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
22:00 Hot shower (alone)
22:30 Make love
23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day for a man:
06:00 Alarm
06:15 Blow-job
06:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of The Sun
07:00 Breakfast, bacon, sausage and eggs, toast and coffee
07:30 Limo arrives
07:45 Bloody Mary en-route to airport
08:15 Private G4 to St Andrews, Scotland
09:30 Limo to St Andrews Golf Club
09:45 Golf
11:45 Lunch, burger, chips and ketchup, 3 Beers
12:15 Blow-job
12.30 More golf
14:15 Limo back to airport (more beer & en-route Blow-job)
14:30 Private G4, to Glasgow (nap)
15:30 Late afternoon Guinness drinking with all female (topless) crowd
17:00 G4 back home, massage & hand job en-route by naked girls
18:45 Shit, shower and shave
19:30 Dinner, even more beer, 20 oz. Steak
21:00 Brandy and Cuban Partagas cigar
21:30 Sex with three women
23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
23:45 Bed (alone)
23:50 12 second, 4 octave fart, dog leaves the room
23:55 Giggle yourself to sleep.