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21
Jan
0

Obama gets some pumped up kicks!

Posted by Webmaster
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Spike Lee obviously knows some powerful people in high positions - namely, the marketing department at Nike, who sent the actor/producer a pair their new Air Jordan Bordeauxs to present to our beloved CINC. The as yet unreleased retro-style Jordans will sell for a whopping $175, and are sure to set off another round of riots once they hit the stores in the hood.

Brilliant move on Nike's part though, considering what a role model we've been told he is ad infinitum!

 

 

18
Jan
1

A coupla zingers for hump-day

Posted by Spike
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Socially Unacceptable Humor

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening".

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So. I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct answer.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled" To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard."

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

Tags: Funny
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  • Beaver
    Beaver says #
    My personal favorite tasteless joke is this: -What did the blind / deaf kid get for Christmas? -Ans: Cancer
17
Jan
0

Another disgusting show of PC Politics

Posted by Sawdog
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[Ed note: While the press and the Administration are so focused on hanging these poor guys, the following widely-circulated email is a more rational take on the whole affair. Although the Doofergods do believe that the numbnuts who originally posted this vid on youtube should be hung -- for stupidity.]




YOU PEE FOR ME, MARINE

 You pee for us all, Marine.


 This has to do with the video that popped up yesterday. It's 40 seconds, and
 it shows four Marines standing above the bodies of some dead Taliban.
 Peeing on them.

 "Have a great day, buddy," one of the Marines says to the corpse at his
 feet.

 Let's review.

 America is at war with militant Islam. In Afghanistan, the Taliban is
 militant Islam. In Afghanistan, the Taliban gave refuge and support to Al
 Qaeda as it prepared the attacks of September 11. In Afghanistan, the
 Taliban works around the clock to put American servicemen in their graves.
 The Taliban are the bad guys. And the United States Marines are the good guys.
 And this is much ado about nothing. Because the brass are crapping their in pants.

 "This is egregious, disgusting behavior," said Pentagon spokesman Capt. John
 Kirby. "It turned my stomach." Kirby's branch of the Service is not listed, but I'm guessing it's Girl
 Scouts. It turned his stomach?

 We are a Nation at war. We've had thousands of Americans die. We've brought
 hundreds of thousands home with losses of limb and mind, and THIS turns his
 stomach? That is not exactly a warrior spirit. And it makes you wish that men like those urinating Marines were running
 this operation.

 But they are not. And they will be crucified.

 Because our military establishment specializes in throwing young GIs under
 the bus. Any number of desk jockeys and political Generals are glad to
 backstab as many warriors as they can. In the White House and at the
 Pentagon, the god of political correctness is fed with the frequent
 sacrifice of young soldiers' careers.

 You send people to war, but heaven help them if they act like it. Hamstrung
 by Marquis of Queensbury rules in a bar fight with savages, our GIs are
 attacked by enemy fighters on one side and government lawyers on the other.
 It's a funny game where no one has their back. Except the American people.

 Which gets me back to my point. You pee for us all, Marine.
 That group of Camp Lejeune snipers is condemned by the political Generals,
 but embraced by the American people. Because that's what you get when you screw with the United States of
 America. You get a bullet through the brainpan, and we're going to line up to spit on the pieces.
 
 Unless we have a full bladder.

 And show the YouTube far and wide, as a warning to your pals. This is what
 it means to mess with America. The pantywaists in the Pentagon might want to
 win your hearts and minds, but the men pulling the triggers want to snap
 your freaking necks.

 And some 310 million real Americans feel the same way. Mess with the best,
 die like the rest. The sooner the better, the more the merrier, and don't be
 surprised if it's not Holy Water you get sprinkled with. Real people aren't bothered by this.
 Real people believe this is how war should be fought. Real people think that we've pussyfooted around long enough, it's time to
 make the rubble bounce. Pull the B-52's out of the barn and let's light
 those mo-fos up.

 And real people are sick and tired of the feigned indignation coming out of
 the Pentagon and White House. Life is not group therapy and war is not run
 by "Robert Rules of Order." War is where you kill people and break the will
 of a Society. War is where you make the other guy cry "Uncle." Ask the people of Hiroshima and Dresden.
 Or Atlanta, for that matter.

 You attack the United States and you die. You die ugly. There are only two
 sure winners - us and the maggots. And any people, Nation or Religion that
 can't stand that heat should stay the hell out of the kitchen.
 So if you don't want to be blown to bits and pieces, and pissed on by fine
 examples of American manhood, then you better stay home with Mama. You
 better lay off the jihad. You better learn some manners and mind your P's
 and Q's. Because Lady Liberty is shaking her fist. And that's not just some words in a song.
 
That's our pledge. We're going to kill you, and we're going to cheer the men who do it.
 And the rest of you goat-bearded savages better shake in your sandals,
 because those Marines pee for us. And they're coming for you next.

 - by Bob Lonsberry C 2012

17
Jan
1

Bin Laden raid debunked

Posted by Rock
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[Ed note: I may be cynical, but I'll go with this version until proven otherwise....]

This is excellent, and it came directly to me from a Navy Seal friend.  It is so specifically detailed that I cannot believe that it is not accurate.  I haven't made any attempts to check out the accuracy, but this seems to be so specifically detailed that I must pass it on.



Seals tell of killing Bin Laden

Upset by the official account, US Navy Seals commandos reveal the truth of the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden, nicknames and all.

Osama Bin Laden was killed within 90 seconds of the US Navy Seals landing in his compound and not after a protracted gun battle, according to the first account by the men who carried out the raid. The operation was so clinical that only 12 bullets were fired.

The Seals have spoken out because they were angered at the version given by politicians, which they see as portraying them as cold-blooded murderers on a "kill mission". They were also shocked that President Barack Obama announced Bin Laden's death on television the same evening, rendering useless much of the intelligence they had seized.

Chuck Pfarrer, a former commander of Seal Team 6, which conducted the operation, has interviewed many of those who took part for a book, Seal Target Geronimo, to be published in the US this week.

The Seals' own accounts differ from the White House version, which gave the impression that Bin Laden was killed at the end of the operation rather than in its opening seconds. Pfarrer insists Bin Laden would have been captured had he surrendered."There isn't a politician in the world who could resist trying to take credit for getting Bin Laden but it devalued the 'intel' and gave time for every other Al-Qaeda leader to scurry to another bolthole," said Pfarrer."The men who did this and their valorous act deserve better. It's a pretty shabby way to treat these guys."

The first hint of the mission came in January last year when the team's commanding officer was called to a meeting at the headquarters of joint special operations command. The meeting was held in a soundproof bunker three storeys below ground with his boss, Admiral William McRaven, and a CIA officer.

They told him a walled compound in Pakistan had been under surveillance for a couple of weeks. They were certain a high-value individual was inside and needed a plan to present to the president.

It had to be someone important."So is this Bert or Ernie?" he asked. The Seals' nicknames for Bin Laden and his deputy Ayman al-Zawahiri are a reference to two Muppets in Sesame Street, one tall and thin and the other short and fat."We have a voice print," said the CIA officer,"and we're 60% or 70% certain it's our guy." McRaven added that a reconnaissance satellite had measured the target's shadow. "Over 6ft tall."

When McRaven added they would use Ghost Hawk helicopters, the team leader had no doubt."These are the most classified, sophisticated stealth helicopters ever developed," said Pfarrer."They are kept in locked hangars and fly so quiet we call it 'whisper mode'."

Over the next couple of months a plan was hatched. A mock-up of the compound was built at Tall Pines, an army facility in a national forest somewhere in the eastern US.

Four reconnaissance satellites were placed in orbit over the compound, sending back video and communications intercepts. A tall figure seen walking up and down was named"the Pacer".

Obama gave the go-ahead and Seal Team 6, known as the Jedi, was deployed to Afghanistan . The White House cancelled plans to provide air cover using jet fighters, fearing this might endanger relations with Pakistan .

Sending in the Ghost Hawks without air cover was considered too risky so the Seals had to use older Stealth Hawks. A Prowler electronic warfare aircraft from the carrier USS Carl Vinson was used to jam Pakistan 's radar and create decoy targets.

Operation Neptune's Spear was initially planned for April 30 but bad weather delayed it until May 1, a moonless night. The commandos flew on two Stealth Hawks, codenamed Razor 1 and 2, followed by two Chinooks five minutes behind, known as"Command Bird" and the"gun platform". On board, each Seal was clad in body armour and nightvision goggles and equipped with laser targets, radios and sawn-off M4 rifles. They were expecting up to 30 people in the main house, including Bin Laden and three of his wives, two sons, Khalid and Hamza, his courier, Abu Ahmed al- Kuwaiti, four bodyguards and a number of children. At 56 minutes past midnight the compound came into sight and the code "Palm Beach" signalled three minutes to landing.

Razor 1 hovered above the main house, a three-storey building where Bin Laden lived on the top floor. Twelve Seals abseiled the 5ft-6ft down ontothe roof and then jumped to a third-floor patio, where they kicked in the windows and entered.

The first person the Seals encountered was a terrified woman, Bin Laden's third wife, Khaira, who ran into the hall. Blinded by a searing white strobe light they shone at her, she stumbled back. A Seal grabbed her by the arm and threw her to the floor.

Bin Laden's bedroom was along a short hall. The door opened; he popped out and then slammed the door shut."Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo," radioedone Seal, meaning "eyes on target".

At the same time lights came on from the floor below and Bin Laden's son Khalid came running up the stairs towards the Seals. He was shot dead.

Two Seals kicked in Bin Laden's door. The room, they later recalled, "smelt like old clothing, like a guest bedroom in a grandmother's house". Inside was the Al-Qaeda leader and his youngest wife, Amal, who was screaming as he pushed her in front of him."No, no, don't do this!" she shouted as her husband reached across the king-size bed for his AK-47 assault rifle. The Seals reacted instantly, firing in the same second. One round thudded into the mattress. The other, aimed at Bin Laden's head, grazed Amal in the calf. As his hand reached for the gun, they each fired again: one shot hit his breastbone, the other his skull, killing him instantly and blowing out the back of his head.

Meanwhile Razor 2 was heading for the guesthouse, a low, shoebox-like building, where Bin Laden's courier, Kuwaiti, and his brother lived.

As the helicopter neared, a door opened and two figures appeared, one waving an AK-47. This was Kuwaiti. In the moonless night he could see nothing and lifted his rifle, spraying bullets wildly.

He did not see the Stealth Hawk. On board someone shouted, "Bust him!", and a sniper fired two shots. Kuwaiti was killed, as was the person behind him, who turned out to be his wife. Also on board were a CIA agent, a Pakistani- American who would act as interpreter, and a sniffer dog called Karo, wearing dog body armour and goggles.

Within two minutes the Seals from Razor 2 had cleared the guesthouse and removed the women and children.

They then ran to the main house and entered from the ground floor, checking the rooms. One of Bin Laden's bodyguards was waiting with his AK-47. The Seals shot him twice and he toppled over.

Five minutes into the operation the command Chinook landed outside the compound, disgorging the commanding officer and more men. They blasted through the compound wall and rushed in.

The commander made his way to the third floor, where Bin Laden's body lay on the floor face up. Photographs were taken, and the commander called on his satellite phone to headquarters with the words: "Geronimo Echo KIA" - Bin Laden enemy killed in action. "This was the first time the WhiteHouse knew he was dead and it was probably 20 minutes into the raid," said Pfarrer.

A sample of Bin Laden's DNA was taken and the body was bagged. They kept his rifle. It is now mounted on the wall of their team room at their headquarters in Virginia Beach , Virginia , alongside photographs of a dozen colleagues killed in action in the past 20 years.

At this point things started to go wrong. Razor 1 took off but the top secret"green unit" that controls the electronics failed. The aircraft went into a spin and crashed tail-first into the compound.

The Seals were alarmed, thinking it had been shot down, and several rushed to the wreckage. The crew climbed out, shaken but unharmed.

The commanding officer ordered them to destroy Razor 2, to remove the green unit, and to smash the avionics. They then laid explosive charges.

They loaded Bin Laden's body onto the Chinook along with the cache of intelligence in plastic bin bags and headed toward the USS Carl Vinson. As they flew off they blew up Razor 2. The whole operation had taken 38 minutes.

The following morning White House officials announced that the helicopter had crashed as it arrived, forcing the Seals to abandon plans to enter from the roof. A photograph of the situation room showed a shocked Hillary Clinton, the secretary of state, with her hand to her mouth.

Why did they get it so wrong? What they were watching was live video but it was shot from 20,000ft by a drone circling overhead and relayed in real time to the White House and Leon Panetta, the CIA director, in Langley . The Seals were not wearing helmet cameras, and those watching in Washington had no idea what was happening inside the buildings."They don't understand our terminology, so when someone said the ‘insertion helicopter' has crashed, they assumed it meant on entry," said Pfarrer.

What infuriated the Seals, according to Pfarrer, was the description of the raid as a kill mission."I've been a Seal for 30 years and I never heard the words "kill mission", he said. "It's a Beltway [ Washington insider's] ]fantasy word. If it was a kill mission you don't need Seal Team 6; you need a box of hand grenades."

------------------------

Go get em seals!   

Hooah!!

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  • Beaver
    Beaver says #
    A couple things remain unclear to me: - Why was it decided to use the less stealthy "Stealth Hawk" in lieu of the "Ghost Hawk", be...
17
Jan
0

Not so wise, this Socrates

Posted by Sawdog
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Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or
spread gossip...

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his
wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do
you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to
pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about
Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The
first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are
about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or
not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what
you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes
that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may
still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter
of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be
useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither
True nor Good nor even useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates
was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging
his wife.

Tags: Funny

      

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