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'nough said

Posted by on in Dooferbook

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  • Beaver
    Beaver says #
    When is this guy's court martial?

Sad Sign of the Times

Posted by on in Dooferbook

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Custom patches have been a tradition in USAF Undergraduate Pilot Training (UPT) classes for decades. Students come up with various designs and vote on the one they like best, and the winner is worn on the sleeve of their flight suits for the duration of UPT. Class patches are generally martially-themed - after all, the mission of the USAF is to fly and fight. My class at Willy (84-04) designed a patch depicting a nuke plume with the Latin "Mors Ab Alto" (Death from Above) inscribed at the top. As I recall, this patch passed with a 100% vote.

Class 14-05 at Vance AFB, OK decided to do something different. Apparently there were enough "Bronies" in the class to push through the My Little Pony patch to the left. "Bronies" are male fans of this decidedly un-manly genre of pop culture, and...sorry... I am just so disgusted with this whole thing I don't want to finish the article.

But it's real -- and it's a real eye-opener as to the current state of our once-great USAF. What a bunch of fags.

Tagged in: Buffoons Fail Idiots
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Moonshot over the Pacific

Posted by on in Dooferbook

 {Ed note: In tribute to the first moon landing 44 years ago today, we offer you this little bit of twisted aviation history culled from the depths of the web.  I can't vouch for the accuracy of the narrative but the picture is real. Someone find Peetie and get the one from the Smurf Jet on here!}

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This photograph was taken in the late 70's on a mid-winter flight from Okinawa to the states for delivery of an RF-4C to a periodic maintenance facility in California.

The aircrew was from Bergstrom AFB, Texas and was routinely treated to this good deal TDY.  The formation consisted of one KC-135 tanker and two RF-4C's from the Bergstrom"Recce" outfit.

Sometime after the fifth or sixth in-flight refueling, the normal boredom began to set in and to keep occupied the Phantom crews talked to the crewmembers of the tanker aircraft on the radio just to chit-chat. During the conversation it was revealed that the tanker had some additional passengers on board, which included a flight nurse that was catching a hop back to the states. The nurse was then invited onto the flight deck, and talked to the crews of the F-4s and instantly became quite good friends with the pilot of #xxxx.

It was during the next refueling, when after #xxx had "hooked-up" and began taking fuel, that the boom operator suddenly went out of view, and was replaced by a totally naked flight nurse, that then pressed her breasts against the refueling window. The pilot of #xxx almost had an emergency "break-away," but hung in there and took the full off-load.

Following this flashing, the crew of #xxx decided to retaliate and took a high position on the tanker's left wing.  Since it was a winter flight, the crew was also required to wear the famous "poopy suit," or anti-exposure flight suit in addition to the normal clothing. Luckily the pilot had first pinned the ejection seat before he began to undress. Anyone that has ever flown the Phantom will appreciate the degree of difficulty in performing this maneuver.

First the leg restraints had to be released, then the torso harness was unbuckled from the parachute, along with the seat pack and lap belt.  Next, off came the winter flight jacket, the flight suit and gloves, then the poopy suit, the thermal underwear and so forth. Then he had to stand on his head.

The picture was taken by the pilot of the other F-4, and the timing was right after General Creech (Tactical Air Command Commander) had issued his "Doctrine on Aircrew Discipline" which included more rules about not carrying a camera in the cockpit. The photograph became an instant success within the crew-dog underworld, and late in 1979, when xxxx's Wing Commander was fired for having lost so many crews and jets during a Red Flag, this photo was at the last minute inserted into his going away picture, signed by all of the wing's crew members.

This Colonel was well liked by all, and to repay our kindness for having given him this moon shot, he emptied his lawn mower's supply of gasoline into his on-base back yard, and spelled the F___ word in large enough letters that everyone could see it from the traffic pattern.

The pilot of #xxx, was never admonished for this incident, but was later in trouble for having sonic boomed his hometown on a cross-country. He was then selected for an assignment to the first F-16 squadron and disappeared.

The pilot that took the picture, a Flight Commander at the time, was recalled by SAC and flew B-52's until he retired.  He is now a Captain with American Airlines. The back-seaters were riffed a few years after the photo and also disappeared. And now you know the rest of this story.

The nurse, by the way, loved the gesture and met the pilot of #xxx that night at the O'Club, but that's another story.

Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

Tagged in: Brilliant! History
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USAF complicit in supressing Obama scandals

Posted by on in Dooferbook

b2ap3_thumbnail_notam_1.jpgLooks like news of the recent information scandals are not meant to be read just anybody, esp. if you're a member of the Air Force. Funny how that works - when it comes to social engineering, the military is all over it - but don't read anything that directly affects your right to privacy and unreasonable search and seizure! The 1st and the 4th for you Millenials Wink

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On a more serious note

Posted by on in Dooferbook

b2ap3_thumbnail_abuse.jpgThe CINC says the number one problem in the armed forces these days is sexual assaults among the troops, which obviously has no place in a professional military. The press would have you believe that life in the service is a constant rapefest, a place where servicewomen are constantly victimized by testosterone-fueled soldiers lurking behind every dark corner looking for their next prey. But what you don't hear is the real truth - more than half of the victims of these sexual assaults are men!

Male-on-male sexual assaults have spiked since the end of "don't ask, don't tell", but what's even more troubling is that according to the Pentagon's Sexual Assault Response and Prevention Office,  2% of the reported sexual attacks on men are perpetrated by women! WTFO?

The solution is simple. Form a special ops unit of those female predators in the 2% group and unleash them on the wildly mysoginistic Islamic fundamentalists! We get a two-fer here: frontline women combat troops (which will satisfy the libs, most of whom never served a day in the military); and a severely demoralized enemy! Hell, we'll even issue them strap-ons to help drive the point home!

As the nation's leading lab rat for social experimentation, the military has undergone some pretty extreme changes that serve to delfect attention away from it's primary mission -- which some seem to forget is to fight and to win.

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